Tag Archives: low-carb

Vegetarian Friday: Cheesy cauliflower mess

I am not one of those people who will swear to you that cauliflower tastes “just like [insert thing that is not cauliflower],” because it doesn’t. Cauliflower tastes like cauliflower. It can be made to approximate the texture of various other substances — most notably, mashed potatoes — but it’s not going to fool anybody, and if you try, you will only annoy your dinner guests.

What cauliflower will do, if prepared properly, is taste good without costing you as many calories as some of the other foods you might like to prepare in a similar manner. For this recipe, we’re going to puree cauliflower and then add a bunch of crap you’d expect to find on a baked potato, which will give you something that bears exactly zero resemblance to a baked potato but still tastes good and is a nice way to eat cauliflower.


Bag of frozen cauliflower
2 tbsp. water
2 tbsp. butter
1 c. shredded cheddar cheese
1/4 c. sour cream or your favorite onion dip
1 tbsp. snipped chives (fresh is best if you have some on hand)

Put the cauliflower and water in a microwave-safe dish, cover, and nuke until tender (about 7 minutes in my tired old microwave, but your mileage may vary).

Drain cauliflower. Place cauliflower, butter and 3/4 c. of the cheese in a food processor and puree until smooth.

Divide puree between two bowls and top with the rest of the cheese. Nuke briefly to melt cheese.

Top each bowl with sour cream or dip and chives. Serves 2.

Non-vegetarians: You can add a couple of strips of bacon to this list if you feel like messing with it. Fry to your liking, crumble them up, and sprinkle on top along with the chives.

Vegetarian Friday: Deviled eggs

Everybody has a deviled-egg recipe, but let’s be honest: Most of them suck. That’s unfortunate, because deviled eggs are a good, cheap protein source that can be made ahead of time and paired with salad for a quick, low-carb meal.

If a deviled-egg recipe calls for mayonnaise or Miracle Whip, throw it out. Seriously. That is a horrible thing to do to perfectly good eggs.

Here’s a very basic deviled-egg recipe that lends itself well to experimentation.

Six boiled eggs
1/2 stick butter, softened
1/2 c. mustard
Fresh chives (optional)

Peel the boiled eggs*, slice them in half lengthwise, and dump all the yolks into a bowl. Add the butter and mustard to the bowl and mash everything up together with a fork. At this point, you can add a few snipped, fresh chives, a dash of hot sauce, or whatever else floats your boat. My parents are fond of adding a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce to a batch of deviled-egg filling, but Worcestershire sauce contains anchovies, which obviously aren’t vegetarian. I’ve seen people put weird stuff like capers or olives or pimentos in their deviled eggs, but I can’t vouch for any of those additions.

If an egg doesn’t peel right, or the white breaks apart instead of making a neat little bowl to hold the filling, don’t panic; there is no shame in using the yolk and feeding the white to your dog. You’ll just end up with a higher proportion of filling to white in the finished eggs, which can only improve them.

Spoon the filling into the whites (or pipe it in with a pastry bag and a big star tip if you’re fancy), garnish with a sprinkling of paprika and maybe a few snipped chives or some fresh parsley, and serve.


*Protip: Fresh eggs are hard to peel, as are overcooked eggs. For boiling, use eggs that have been sitting around in the refrigerator for several days, and don’t overcook them. The trick is to shut off the burner and cover the pan as soon as the water comes to a full boil, then take it off the heat and let it sit for 12 minutes. After 12 minutes, drain off the hot water, run cold water over the eggs to stop the cooking, and let them cool to room temperature before you try to peel them.