I am not one of those people who will swear to you that cauliflower tastes “just like [insert thing that is not cauliflower],” because it doesn’t. Cauliflower tastes like cauliflower. It can be made to approximate the texture of various other substances — most notably, mashed potatoes — but it’s not going to fool anybody, and if you try, you will only annoy your dinner guests.
What cauliflower will do, if prepared properly, is taste good without costing you as many calories as some of the other foods you might like to prepare in a similar manner. For this recipe, we’re going to puree cauliflower and then add a bunch of crap you’d expect to find on a baked potato, which will give you something that bears exactly zero resemblance to a baked potato but still tastes good and is a nice way to eat cauliflower.
Bag of frozen cauliflower
2 tbsp. water
2 tbsp. butter
1 c. shredded cheddar cheese
1/4 c. sour cream or your favorite onion dip
1 tbsp. snipped chives (fresh is best if you have some on hand)
Put the cauliflower and water in a microwave-safe dish, cover, and nuke until tender (about 7 minutes in my tired old microwave, but your mileage may vary).
Drain cauliflower. Place cauliflower, butter and 3/4 c. of the cheese in a food processor and puree until smooth.
Divide puree between two bowls and top with the rest of the cheese. Nuke briefly to melt cheese.
Top each bowl with sour cream or dip and chives. Serves 2.
Non-vegetarians: You can add a couple of strips of bacon to this list if you feel like messing with it. Fry to your liking, crumble them up, and sprinkle on top along with the chives.