This is Smeagol, the World’s Creepiest Lawn Ornament. I bought him tonight at Lowe’s because … well, because he’s the World’s Creepiest Lawn Ornament. How could I resist? The creepiest thing is that the little ridge on top of his head is actually part of a series of ridges that go all the way down his spine.
He bears a striking resemblance to the way I always pictured Gollum from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Mind you, I hate the Lord of the Rings trilogy, having been forced to read it as a child … but as an English teacher, I simply couldn’t pass up the chance to buy my very own Gollum to tuck into an otherwise peaceful corner of a garden inhabited by a fire-breathing dragon.
Speaking of which …
… here are my fledgling dragon’s eyes. I like them a lot. I’m thinking of naming my dragon Jormungandr, a.k.a. The Midgard Serpent. It’s either that or Smaug….