What women think

Note to the guy who kicked over a little kid’s water bottle while I was jogging at Reed Park this afternoon: You might have thought you were impressing your girlfriend, but trust me — women do NOT think boorish behavior is hot. They may giggle or defend you to your face, but secretly, it makes them uncomfortable, and they think: “I am dating a loser who embarrasses me in public.” And then what they think — especially if they happen to be as supermodel-cute as your girlfriend — is: “I get hit on at least twice every time I leave the house. Why am I putting up with this loser?”

Seriously, dude: You looked like a jerk, and you put your girlfriend in a really embarrassing position. You had a chance to save a little face, and you totally blew it. Speaking as a woman, I can guarantee you that she is going to remember that for a long, long time.

If I were you, I’d go into some major damage-control mode right about now. Send her a dozen roses right now, and go out of your way to do something seriously classy in the next day or so. And by “seriously classy,” I am not talking nice-dinner-and-overpriced-champagne classy. I’m talking join-the-Peace-Corps or rescue-a-litter-of-kittens-from-a-burning-building classy.

Yeah, you’re welcome.