Attention, Larry Goudeau:

I have no idea who you are, but since you apparently took the liberty of giving U-Haul my cell phone number when you rented something from them, I am now taking the liberty of issuing a public request for you to return whatever it was, as I have now received a phone call and four text messages from the company, informing me that you have an overdue rental.

If anybody out there knows this person, please ask him to call U-Haul and sort it out, because I really don’t have time to play secretary for him.

Thank you.