If you decide that climate or atmosphere is unhealthy, it will be so to you. Your decisions will master you, whichever direction they take. Reverse the case. Stand porter at the door of thought. Admitting only such conclusions as you wish realized in bodily results, you will control yourself harmoniously. When the condition is present which you say induces disease, whether it be air, exercise, heredity, contagion, or accident, then perform your office as porter and shut out these unhealthy thoughts and fears.
–Mary Baker Eddy
I’ve spent the past couple of weeks wandering around in a sort of haze, feeling sleepy and vaguely depressed for no particular reason.
I didn’t think much about it at first. I kept thinking I just needed a nap. Maybe I’d been working too hard, or maybe I was just overwhelmed because I had too many projects on my plate, or maybe the weather had something to do with it.
People talk a lot about seasonal depression, and it’s easy to get sucked into the idea that it’s somehow natural to be tired and unmotivated when the sky is gray and the weather is cold. But it came to me today that if God is, in fact, omnipotent, then His ability to bless His children with health, happiness, and energy certainly can’t be dependent on the color of the sky or the outdoor air temperature. I finally recognized this feeling of being a bit out of sorts as an aggressive mental suggestion that I did not have to accept for even one second. I realized I hadn’t been doing a very good job of following Mrs. Eddy’s advice to “stand porter at the door of thought,” and I promised myself I would do better.
The next time the suggestion came to me to go take a nap just as I was thinking about starting a project, I had a concise response:
No, I did not have to accept the suggestion that I was too tired and run-down to get my work done. I did not have to feel overwhelmed by the 22 items on my to-do list. I did not have to slink off to bed without getting anything done for the umpteenth day in a row. I did not have to accept that this sleepy, depressed, lazy girl had anything to do with me. I was God’s perfect daughter, made in His image, and I had access to unlimited supplies of everything I needed — including energy.
That simple “No!” was all it took to shake loose the malaise that had seemed to hold me captive for days. Once free, I felt happy and energized, ready to tackle my projects without fear of exhaustion.
Less than six hours later, I’ve knocked 10 items off my to-do list, and I expect to complete two more before I go to bed. It’s still cold outside, and tomorrow’s weather forecast is calling for more clouds, but the fog has lifted from my thought, and I’m happily basking in the warmth and radiant energy of divine Love.
P.S.: I’ve got purple deadnettle growing in the backyard, the garlic is looking good, the sparrows and mockingbirds were singing their hearts out this afternoon, and that hyacinth Bill and Kathey gave me is trying to form a bud, so I expect to see it blooming in the windowsill later this week. Oh, yeah — it’s four days to p/c camp, too! Planting season is just around the corner….