The fair is what a friend of mine would refer to as “a cornucopia of humanity.”
This year’s highlights for us included:
1. Buying deep-fried Twinkies off a transgendered carny. (I swear I am not making this up.)
2. Watching a group of small children participate in a mutton busting competition. If you ain’t from around here, you may be unfamiliar with this sport. It is basically like bullriding, except instead of cowboys, the riders are all small children, and instead of bulls, they ride sheep. All the participants received blue ribbons at the end.
3. Eating a ribeye sandwich purchased from the Cattlemen’s Association booth.
4. Watching the sheepdog trials, which are amazing. If you want to learn something about purpose, drive, and enthusiasm for your career, watch a Border collie work. They’re beautiful.
5. Visiting the birthing tent to see piglets and kids (the four-legged kind).
6. Sighing over the Budweiser Clydesdales.
7. Eating deep-fried cheese curds.
8. Purchasing a T-shirt that says, “White Trash — Always” in the same font Wal-Mart uses on all its marketing materials.
9. Eating a strawberry Newberg, which is a fabulous assemblage of puff pastry, strawberries, vanilla pudding, and whipped cream.
10. Sucking down a lemon shake-up.
11. Buying a bag of cotton candy.
For the third consecutive year, I opted not to ride the “Mind Meld.”
For the third consecutive year, I came home wishing I had 10 acres in the country.
For the third consecutive year, I gave serious thought to ditching marathoning and the Mother Road in favor of devoting my time to training my dogs and riding horses, the way I used to do before Route 66 and running ate my life.
It was a good evening.