I’ve been looking at my page stats and noticing that people are surfing in here while searching for topics that may or may not actually be covered here. They’re Googling various search terms, and the search engines are sending them here based on combinations of random words scattered across this blog.
A few people (the guy looking for “hot hippie chicks,” for instance ) find exactly what they are looking for. But I’m afraid some of these folks are sorely disappointed when they surf in here, only to find that I have no “hippie trucker girl photos” or instructions on how to “get rid of red chicks” here. (Those are actual search terms people have used to find me, BTW.)
I do, however, find that some of these folks are looking for information about questions to which I can supply answers.
In the interest of serving those readers, I have decided to start a weekly feature here called “Ask the Hippie,” in which I will attempt to supply answers to those burning questions that drive people to Google in search of enlightenment. I make no guarantees as to the veracity of the answers, which are, like the wisdom of the late-night psychics on cable, “for entertainment purposes only.”
Let the entertainment begin.
Q. Where can I buy catbrier plants? (Inspired by the search term “buy catbrier plants.”)
A. I have never seen catbrier plants for sale. And based on my own experience with catbrier plants, I have no idea why anyone would want to buy them. But if you are within driving distance of Red Fork, Oklahoma, I can make you a good deal on all the catbriers you care to dig up….
Q. Where can I buy hippie bedding? (Search term: “Hippie bedding.”)
A. Try Tie-Dyes of Tulsa. The owner will dye anything you want to bring in, as long as it’s made of natural fibers. Bring your sheets. Bring your blankets. Bring your pillowcases. She’ll hippiefy all of ‘em for you. She can even tie-dye a big pink heart on your PJ’s for Valentine’s Day.
Q. Where can I buy tahini in Tulsa? (Search term: “tahini in tulsa.”)
A. Wild Oats.
Q. What do hippie chicks dig? (Search term: “what hippie chicks dig.”)
A. Organic gardening, Birkenstocks, broomstick skirts, Red Zinger tea, nature, animals (especially the cute and fuzzy variety), fuel-efficient cars, patchouli incense, old Volvos, and New Mexico skies. This particular hippie chick also digs Sean Connery and Sam Elliott (yowza!) … but I think that’s more of a chick thing than a hippie thing.
If you have a question for “Ask the Hippie,” e-mail it to sundayjohn66 at mac dot com. I may answer it in a future post.